Performance Strategies: Overcoming Fear

If I hear the acronym for FEAR uttered one more time, I might just scream!

OK, you need to know, so just for you...False Evidence Appearing Real. Yippieeeee!!!

What an overused cliché. Has knowing that ever helped? Probably not!

To overcome fear, you have to know what it really is. So let's take a look;

Fear is defined as "a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined." (For our purposes we will deal the "imagined" version.)

Impending is defined as "about to happen, imminent"

Imagined is defined as "to form a mental image of something not actually present to the senses."

Now consider that the event of which we are afraid has not yet happened and is therefore fixed at some future point.

As such, it is imagined. So what is the catalyst for all this? It is actually quite simple. Since birth we are "programmed" by internal and external experiences. We are programmed by events and by what people say. Many of those experiences we negatively interpreted and stored in our mind as an ongoing tape recording which automatically plays without our knowledge or conscious attention. We are fooled to think it is there to protect us. It is not. The instinctive mind protects us not the imagined mind.

If we could just step back when it begins to play we would actually have the choice to follow the voice in our head or not.

The key is awareness. We can condition our awareness by noting the typical words we use as triggers. Words and phrases such as "no, I can't, it won't work, it's dangerous, I'll get hurt, that's bad, what if, etc." Once we notice these words (and others like them), we can ask ourselves if the threat is real or imagined. By the way, it's real when an 8 foot grizzly bear is staring at you from 3 feet away and there are no bars or cage.

Successful people act regardless of the fear. Yes they are fearful and yet they will do it anyway. That is an achiement-oriented mind. That is true courage. Withour fear to overcome there is no courage. Be courageous!

Performance Strategies: Don't let emotions control you

"When your emotions take flight...don't be onboard"
unknown

Performance Strategies: The Horse Knows The Way...

When I was a young boy I would go horseback riding with my father. One day I remember asking "what if we get lost?". "No problem" he said, "just loosen the reins a little, squeeze your legs (English saddle), and the horse will take you home (back to the stable). The horse always knows the way". "What about in the dark?" I asked. "No matter, the horse knows the way".

Years passed, I gave up riding for along time, then took it up again. I rode with a friend who was very experienced. I got comfortable and one day, with no riding partner, I went out on my own. Well, you guessed it. I got lost. I was so focused on the beautiful scenery that I forgot to take my bearings. Then it started to get dark, quickly. Soon there was little light and I was getting more nervous by the minute. Anxiety got the best of me and I froze. I had no idea what to do. Then it hit me. Loosen the reins and the horse will take me home. So I did. To my amazement, the horse did just that...and fast. It's like he could see in the dark.

This story is a metaphor for the times we get lost in our lives. Either personally or professionally. All we need is a good horse. In other words, we must have something we can trust in times of stress. A mentor comes to mind. Someone who has our best interest at heart and who is an expert in the areas that we are not. In this way we need not trust ourselves, we just trust them, the horse. Why? Because they always know the way home!

Performance Strategies: Beyond Goalsetting

Know what you want, write it down, look at it every day, affirm to yourself you can achieve it, and voila! ...you fall flat on your face.

Goalsetting is no different than any other success-driven activity. It requires a clear roadmap and the diligent effort to make things happen.

Consider this roadmapping strategy from my forthcoming book The Drive To Achieve the next time your setting yourself up for failure (oh, I meant success):

Decide WHAT you want!
- Oddly enough many people just say "I want a better life".
- Be specific
- Ensure you can measure it so you know when you've got it

Determine or Develop your WHY! (excerpt from the forthcoming book: The WHY Factor: Living Life On Purpose)
- You need a reason to success, something that will drive you when faced with obstacles
- Make sure your desire is unshakable
- If it doesn't excite you, drop it

Determine the WHEN of everything!
- Establish the date the main goal is to be achieved
- Create a timeline of sub-goals, related actions and people responsible

Figure out WHO will help you and WHO will hurt you!
- you will need people to teach and train you (mentors, coaches, trainers...)
- You will need people to support you throughout your journey
- You will also have people who will knock you. Identify them in advance and be aware.
- You will need people to help you achieve your success

WHICH resources will you need
- training programs (books, CDs, DVDs, seminars, workshops, teleseminars, webinars...)
- tools for the trade
- what else will you need?

Performance Strategies: Needle in a Haystack...finding the power people in a crowd

OK, you've landed at the business reception with a handful of cards (see: Performance Strategies: shotgun or sniper rifle). Now you've got 60 minutes to make 4-6 meaningful relationships. How do you find the "players", those influential people who can help make you more successful?

Simple, just look at the crowd and you will quickly see pockets of people standing around a single person. That's the leader in each group. Yes, sometimes it's the " class clown" but you'll quickly figure that out.

Having identified the leader, move in and observe. Don't say anything yet other than to nod or agree with the leader. When the moment is right, you'll have a chance to introduce yourself, state your business and make contact. Don't make a pitch. Listen for their needs, collect his/her card and database it. Immediately hand write a "nice to have met you" note (no e-mail here). Do this consistently and business will follow.

Now, how would you like to be more assertive? How would you like to position yourself as the center, the leader, the influencer...and drive the business to you? OK, stay tuned for the next networking installment.

Performance Strategies: Networking...shotgun or sniper rifle?

Tonight is a business reception. They will be 200 people there. How many business cards do you take? 500? 200? 100? 50? 20? or 6? Let's break it down:

You take 500 if you are planning on meeting each of the 200 people then on your way to your car you put another 100 under windshield wipers. What about the 200 left over? No problem, you throw them up in their air hoping the wind will catch them and float them away to your next deal.

Next option: You take 200, 100, 50, or 20 and try to make a meaningful relationship with that many people...in an hour! Really? Of course not. The preceding was a shotgun approach and is only effective in annoying people who you should hope do not remember you.

How about establishing a meaningful relationship with only 6 people. That's 10 minutes each. Very doable. Of course, which 6 people do I choose? Stay tuned...I'll share that next time.

Performance Strategies: Act in Spite of Fear

The following is an except from T. Harv Eker. You can get more information on the Millionaire Mind and the opportunity of attending one of his free seminars by visiting: http://www.millionairemind.com/preview/mme/

The formula for manifestation in our physical universe is known to be "thoughts lead to feelings, which lead to actions, which lead to results." Most people have plenty of thoughts and feelings, but the breakdown for many seems to be ability to take "action". The culprit, of course, is fear. That is why to succeed in life you must cultivate the trait of courage.

T Harv Eker

Performance Strategies: Effort

Do or do not...There is no "TRY"
- Jedi Master Yoda

Performance Strategies: The Steel Room

Imagine yourself in a large solid, steel room. The walls, the floor, the ceiling...all steel, all 2 feet thick. There is no way in and no way out. There are no windows, doors or cracks to crawl through. There is only a minute of air left and then, you die. Use that minute wisely and figure a way out without any tools or devices.

Having trouble? Trying to figure every way out. Is you time up yet. If so, sorry, you're already gone. No worries though. If you haven't already figured it out (and less than 2% do), read on.

So, how do you get out? That's easy! The same way you got in! Since you imagined your way in, why not just imagine your way out! 59 seconds to spare!

You see, we all create these steel rooms...right out of our imagination. And we are every bit as stuck as if the situation was real. When we imagine the worst, we need to remind ourselves to ask one question? Is this experience real or imagined. If real, go ahead and cope with it. We usually do aterrific job of coping in the toughest of times. However, chances are that it is imagined and in such a case, just imagine something else.

Performance Strategies: Settle for MORE....

Sometimes the reason we don't have is because we are shooting to low. As a result, often we see the doors as closed and don't understand why. Maybe they are closed so that the good ones are left open.

remember

Performance Strategies: Trapped?

Are you trapped in your past experiences? If so, your are doomed to relive them every day as your present.

Performance Strategies: Crumbs or Cake?

"Why eat the crumbs when the cake is for you to take"
---unknown

Performance Strategies: Which comes first?

You must believe to receive yet it seems that many need to receive to believe.
---Stephen Libman

Performance Strategies: Adjust your focus

"Dont be so wrapped up in your way when another way may serve you better"
---unknown

Performance Strategies: Acquiring Wisdom

If you walk with wise men, you will become wise
--- proverbs

Performance Strategies: Worry, or not...

Think back to a year ago, two years ago, five years ago or even longer and try and remember what you worried about. Chances are, most of those things never happened and the ones that did were managed.

So, considering that what we worry about seldom comes true and that which does is handled anyway, why bother worrying. In fact, all it accomplishes is a tremendous waste of time, energy and yet often adversely affects our health. Now that's something to worry about!

Performance Strategies: Persuasion

Everyone sells! and...they do it all the time!

Think about a child who wants something, anything. Or, how about the last time you wanted a raise, some workplace concessions or even a day off. Think about Mom wanting to see the kids or Dad wanting to get you into a golf foursome. Do you really think there is no selling going on? Really?

So, since selling is a given, what actually makes some people better at it than others? The answer is obvious. Those who sell well are masters of persuasion. Some are natually great whiles others can learn and apply the knowledge.

Stay tuned for future blogs on the "how to" of persuasion.

Performance Strategies: Fear Knocked...

Fear knocked at the door, I was afraid to answer
Fear knocked again, I was even more afraid
Fear kept knocking until I got fed up and threw open the door in defiance
No one was there

Performance Strategies: Take risk...

“A ship in port is safe, but that's not what ships are built for.” Grace Murray Hopper

Performance Strategies: Lessons from "The Apprentice"

I've been following this show since it started. I actually sent in an application for season 2 but got nowhere. I would have continued applying for subsequent seasons but by then I was already committed to other lucrative projects. That aside, I'm a fan of the show not so much because I might feel I could have done "that" but because of the contestant interactions and reactions. So I discovered a few lessons we can all take away;

1. Be people centered... Nearly everthing is done people-to-people. Most people don't care about you till you show them you care about them.
2. Proact don't react... It's better to have a good plan starting out of the gate rather than try and fix a bad one on the fly. If things go astray simply adapt and more on.
   
3. Earn respect, don't demand it... If you deserve it you will earn it.
4. Act when you are 80% ready... Nothing happens while waiting for things to be perfect.
5. Surround yourself with greatness... Accept that you don't know it all and get the best people working with you.
6. Be decisive and firm... No one follows uncertainty too far.
7. Be accountable... Never blame others. No one really cares anyways if you do. Stop whining.
   
8. Give credit... Share the limelight with those involved.
9. Learn from every experience... If you did not learn something you're not really involved in the process.

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Performance Strategies: Lessons from "American Idol"

Watching American Idol I couldn't help but think about all those people who tried and failed. I don't mean the ones who actually made it onto the show as contestants. In fact those people succeeded albeit all at different levels. I also don't include those people who were not serious from the start. No, I mean those people who had the dreams, desires and aspirations for greatness. Those who worked so very hard to make it but fell short. Their reactions fell into two categories; those who gave up on their dream and those who did not. We are all challenged with roadblocks. Those who ultimately succeed do so because they persevere in spite of the setbacks.

Performance Strategies: Being Told NO! Roll with it...

You go to a restaurant. At the end of the meal your server offers dessert and coffee. You say "no". Did they quit? Of course not. In spite of the "rejection" they don't take it personally. Instead they accept that you rejected their offer, not them. No one can reject you without your permission. So the next time you get a "no", roll with it.

Performance Strategies: Attitude of Gratitude

Different days, different results. Some make you happy, others less so. In spite of the latter, spend a moment each day and find the good, then be thankful for it. Living with an attitude of gratitute helps you focus on the positive. After all, you get what what you focus on.

Performance Strategies: Dominant Ideas

"It may be so difficult to escape from a dominant idea that it becomes impossible without outside help"...Edward de Bono (world's leading authority on creative thinking)

Click HERE to listen to Edward de Bono discussing creativity and order the free DVD.